Not So Much…Cope.

“Not so much” seems to be my answer as of late in regard to whether or not I want to be in a relationship right now. (A definite shift in my thinking from a month ago.) I am unequivocally *savoring* and embracing my single status and focusing on myself, my munkees and simply enjoying life as I know it: Sans Man.

I am still conversing with Nash (formerly NashVegas), The Linguist and [newbie on the scene] Riley, but have them idling at cohort rank. Which isn’t difficult considering that two of them live multiple states away. (I have a knack at finding these…) Newbie: Riley was recently visiting the Sunshine State (and wow…has it been absolutely gorgeous here) and we spent nearly 24 hours together, getting into shenanigans down in South Beach. While talking, he hit the nail on the head in respect to me (and a possible relationship):

You don’t NEED me. You are completely independent.

Apparently this makes me an anomaly to the men I have been meeting, because they ALL have said the same thing. This makes me smile…as in BIG, toothy grin smile.

That’s the latest on the “manfront”.

Munkees are fabulous. Growing like weeds and far too smart for their own britches. I am perpetually left jaw agape at more than half of what comes out of those little mouths….I wish I could remember what Bubs said at the dinner table tonight, it was a *blink* / hold onto the table so I don’t fall out of my chair moment. (I knew I should of written it down right then and there…<sigh>)

And in other News:

Here’s who I’ll be feasting my ears upon this friday night: Woo to the Hoo!


The Munkees are WILD

My children, my angels, the fruit of my loins, have been maniacal lately. Enough to make me ponder my decision to be a parent. ::yellow page scan for Adoption Agencies:: (Anyone have Angelina & Brad’s number?) Goodness gracious…for serious! I am ready to pull my hair out. Constant bickering, complete disregard of any of my requests, whining, temper tantrums, backtalk…yikes. “Hello? Santa is watching, you know!” (I could save some serious cash this year proving a point: Ooops…yep…you were NAUGHTY, I told you…) The Munkees are pushing mommy over the edge…

While they sleep and as I write this, I am aware of the root of this behavior. When Dr. D. and I split, Punks was 5, Bubs 3 and Mouse 1. Young, not fully aware of what was going on, they bounced back and forth between us like pinballs. My home has been the stable one: One job, no ill-mention of the other parent, adult-issues (finances, stress, etc.) NOT spoken of in munkee presence, casual romance out of sight, daily affection, book-reading, etc. Dad’s house: plenary opposite. A train wreck for me. 2.5 years later, I am constantly “reprogramming” my munchkins.

Dr. D. is engaged. His fiancé has a 4-year old. Their relationship is unhealthy. (shocker.) The kids tell me and even SHE has told me how they argue…yet, she still wants to marry him? (Her background is a grim one…and let’s just say that this is another prime example of how insecurity/low self-esteem is a curse.) The upside: they have set their wedding date for next November, and a lot could happen between now and then. I left this relationship to spare myself and my children from a life of turmoil and [mostly verbal & emotional] abuse, yet here it is, HALF of their life again. It breaks my heart. It is this reason that I wish I were one of the single moms, whose father of her children, just walked away…

My children are acting out. They are aping the behavior they see; and while at times I feel like throwing in the towel because THIS is what I LEFT, I know these are the times I must fight the hardest. Survivor: Outwit. Outsmart. Outplay. Unfortunately for me, the court system in my county SUCKS. And when I say it sucks…it’s “*blink* are you kidding me? sucks.” ie: I always thought it was illegal and you got in *legal* trouble if you purger yourself under oath. ummm…not here. You can LIE. LIE. LIE. and wow…get away with it. *blink* *blink*

Ugh, enough about D.D. It makes my stomach churn. It’s midnight. I’m heading upstairs to snuggle with my wild munkees.